Spurred on by the optimism that the New Year brings, 1 million Britons are expected to get online for a date today - the first day back in the office after the Christmas break.This time last year saw a 94 per cent increase in people singing up compared to their daily average.'In my experience, selfies on dating sites either involve the guy snapping a quick picture of himself as he loads his profile (no effort made) or stripping off in a desperate attempt to show off his buff body while trying out a moody male model look (far too much effort made).WESTFORD, MA—Admitting that she couldn’t fully describe the enigmatic allure that drew her to him, local woman Laura Saracen told reporters Wednesday there was just something dark and intriguing about 34-year-old Tyler Evans, a man with a serious personality disorder.SEATTLE—According to a survey conducted Friday of Americans visiting scenic waterways across the nation, 97 percent of individuals currently floating down a lazy, winding river in an inflatable rubber tube agreed that it doesn’t get any better than this. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.'I'd much rather see a picture of a nice smiling guy on a night out with friends or on holiday than one who has clearly spent too much time in front of a mirror in his bedroom.Have some selfie respect.'The new research by dating site Zoosk comes to the conclusion that while honesty really is the best policy for men, it's not such a good idea for women to talk about exes and children.GRAND BLANC, MI—In updates that reportedly were becoming both increasingly frequent and less interesting with every new addition, local woman Kate Morris was now just typing her 4-year-old child’s every word verbatim throughout the day as Facebook posts, sources said Thursday.CHICAGO—Saying that he alone could determine the legitimacy the woman’s claim, area man Luke Haggerty will be the judge of whether coworker Delia Carroll is actually a true baseball fan, sources confirmed Wednesday.